Autobiographical

I have to apologise again as my story will have to wait a little longer. I realised recently after chats with friends (the outstanding confidence coach and special needs teacher Russell Edwards, for one – https://www.russellrkedwards.com) that I should say more about my mum, and in passing my dad. Notwithstanding the health issues that mum had to tackle herself first and foremost, she remained resilient and loving, thoughtful and caring throughout.

She sacrificed a potential career to enable her husband to flourish and assisted him intellectually, as well as emotionally. She also provided a grounding for the children. She was always available for us.

In addition, whenever we had friends stay over, she would not let them leave the following morning without a proper breakfast, which was more like a meal that would keep them going for the whole day. 

I am grateful to my mum for the calm and loving atmosphere that she created. I wouldn’t be half the man I am today without that input. And I know my dad was enamoured of her until the end. After his two strokes, she cared for him in a way evocative of both her devotion and character. 

This was no doubt the hardest time for her. Although it must have been unbearable to continue after he died. For she had dedicated her life to him and the family. And then he was gone, while the children lived abroad or had other issues to handle in the UK.

The key problem was that my parents had been so close and focused on us and themselves that they had not kept close friends outside the family. In my dad’s case, he had also spent a considerable amount of time going out of his way to help his students, which has been reflected in their lovely comments about Ken ever since.

And this is where I call on any readers to do their utmost to ensure that both their parents (if they are still around) and they themselves maintain a small network of friends, the people  who are dear to you. 

However, my mum didn’t give up. She finished my dad’s last opus and then gave herself fully to charity work, taking the train regularly into town to feed the homeless. In fact she had throughout her life stopped when seeing young and older people of the streets, taking the time to talk to them and take them to a café. 

She also built a new group of friends whom she would see regularly, including from my own friends, including a lovely Scottish lass Moira whom I had got to know through her husband Tim. She contacted me last week to ask about my news, but also to talk about the wonderful time she had spent with my mum after my dad had passed and when I wasn’t in the country (although I would come home regularly to see her). 

I always remember fondly how we would go camping in Europe every year for a month in late July-August as my dad took time off work and my mum provided invaluable assistance to him on the journey when people still had to use maps. That would be a special month, with the joy of departure replaced by sadness when we crossed the channel back to the UK. I am grateful to them for these annual trips and for all the love and care they showed every day. I owe my mum and dad everything.